An Island Hopping Saga

The Spirit Of Discovery in Fowey Harbour

A couple of years ago I had my first experience of travelling with that tour company for mature folk, Saga. You can read about it here. That was a short cruise up and down the English Channel. Last year I sampled their river cruising which, if you can stand it, you can read about here. This year it was back to the high seas on board Spirit of Discovery, one of two cruise ships owned by Saga and the same one I sampled two years ago. As with the past two Saga trips, I was accompanied by my mum and sister. It is a particularly good was for us to get away together as it is fair to say that mum is getting on a bit and Saga are geared up for the older traveller. We chose the cruise many months ago. All of Saga’s cruises depart from the south coast of England and whilst the itineraries are varied, that fact does put certain limitations on what they offer. To get to traditional cruising destinations like the Mediterranean or Canary Islands requires several days of getting there and back so these itineraries tend to be long. Priding themselves on all inclusive ’boutique’ cruising, a couple of weeks on board a Saga ship is going to set you back quite a lot of money. Week long cruises tend to go to the Norwegian Fjord’s, something mum and Jill have already done and the shorter sample cruise to nowhere in particular is what we all did two years ago. The itinerary we decided on was Island Hopping round the UK which was ten nights on board, a bit longer than we would have preferred, but the stops looked interesting so we booked it. Departure day was May 5th so we were hoping for the weather gods to take pity on us as we were staying in British waters and let’s be honest, anything can happen. It turned out that apart from a little glitch at the very start of the cruise, those weather gods were very much on our side.

In my previous blog (here’s the link again) I gave you an insight to what cruising on the Spirit of Adventure was like. In two years it hasn’t changed a bit which gets me out of writing about it again. The only difference was that we were in standard cabins on Deck 8 this time. When we booked there were superior cabins that were actually bit cheaper due to some promotion or other but they were dotted around the ship. We felt it was better to be close together and were allotted three standard cabins next to each other on the starboard side amidships. This had the bonus of us being able to open up our balconies to make one big one. The only difference between the standard and superior cabins is the latter have a bit more floor space and maybe an extra chair. That’s it. The standard cabin is fitted out to the same high standard as the superior ones and looked after by the hard working housekeepers in the same way. Go for superior cabins if you wish but I don’t think they are worth spending much more money on. There are a few fancier rooms and suites but I don’t think they would be worth turning an expensive cruise into a very expensive cruise for. Cabin aside, take a look at the other blog to see what facilities the ship has to offer. I’ll just add here that it is a lovely ship, just about the right size and the staff are still as good as they were last time.

Instead, for this blog, I will concentrate on the itinerary. This may not have the wow factor of the Norwegian Fjords, the interest of foreign ports or indeed the weather of the Mediterranean but… Hang on, we had fantastic weather that was actually better than parts of the Med at the time, not to mention interesting British ports and even some wow factor scenery so let’s not belittle the cruise by the simple fact that we never entered ‘foreign’ waters. Let’s get started with Day One

Day One: Portsmouth Sailaway

Experience Is Everything. Including check-in.

The nice thing about going with Saga is that they put on a nice car with a nice driver to take you to the port. It’s as if Saga guests appreciate ‘nice’. As before a rather fancy Mercedes Van pitched up on time at mum’s house in Huddersfield for the 247 mile journey to Portsmouth. As before there was one other traveller already in the vehicle. Not the same one as last time, that would have been spooky, but a 95 year old solo traveller taking her first Saga cruise. The driver was a very polite young man and he delivered us to Portsmouth without incident. Check-in was in the Brittany Ferries Terminal and formalities were completed quickly. We were bused to the ship, mum was given some assistance up the gangway and we were shown to our cabins without any fuss. The ship’s buffet restaurant, The Grill, was open for a late lunch and after that we went back to the cabin for lifeboat drill just in case we encountered any stray icebergs in the Irish or North Seas later on in the cruise. We set sail bang on time at 5pm and once we’d slipped our moorings Captain Simon Moore came on the ship’s PA system to welcome us on board and tell us that Day Two’s port of call had changed. We were due to visit the island of Guernsey in the Channel Islands but the forecast winds were in such a direction that tendering the guests to the port would be too risky so he had made the decision to take us to Fowey in Cornwall instead. This was a tad disappointing as we’d got excursions booked in Guernsey that we were looking forward to but we weren’t in a position to organise a mutiny so Fowey it was. We ate in the main dining room as we would do on most evenings. The food was as good as I remembered. Later, the ship’s entertainment company gave us a show based on rock music which may seem a bit odd for a cruise where the average age of the passenger was 79 (the cruise director gave us this information so I’m not making it up) but those present seemed to enjoy the cast’s rendition of Bat Out Of Hell.

Standard Cabin. Very comfortable and just marginally less floor space than the Superior Cabin last time.

Portsmouth sailaway with HMS Queen Elizabeth seeing us off again and the Spinnaker Tower – again.

Day Two: ~~Guernsey~~ Fowey

Fowey, emiting small Cornish town vibes.

Situated up a narrow estuary that the ship had to reverse up before dropping anchor, Fowey (pronounced ‘Foy’) is a very picturesque Cornish town with narrow streets and an active harbour. With the sun shining and light winds, it was hard to believe that the weather had prevented us from calling at St Peter Port in Guernsey but then I’m no expert in parking cruise ships so what would I know? Having cancelled our planned excursions on the Channel Island, Saga had quickly cobbled together a few trips from Fowey and we had rather hastily booked ourselves on one to Lanhydrock House, a National Trust property that I’d last visited thirty years ago. In hindsight we shouldn’t have bothered. The tour set off late due to delays in getting the ship’s tenders permission to land and there was a lot more walking for mum to do than we had anticipated. Consequently we had limited time in the house itself before we had to head back to the bus for the journey back to the ship. The captain had arranged for one of the ship’s tenders to do a mini cruise up and down the estuary so we nabbed one of those in the afternoon and I also had time to nip into the town. It is a very pretty town and we would have just been as well doing this in the morning rather than the tour but there you go. The evening’s entertainment was provided by Belfast comedian William Caulfield as we sailed out into the channel at the end of Day Two.

Lanhydrock House and Fowey High Street. Alas, Nile’s pasty shop was closed.

Day Three: At Sea

Sea days. Not much to report. We spent time in the Britannia Lounge, on deck and even in the pool. Ice creams were eaten, quizzes were entered where as usual we finished second and they day passed at a slow pace. Sailing up the Irish Sea provided little in the way of views but we enjoyed the day nevertheless. It was Formal Night, the first of two on this cruise. Now I’m not a fan of wearing collar and tie but as my mum was watching I grumpily complied. It is possible to avoid the formal dress code by eating in The Grill or staying in your cabin but we had a reservation at East Meets West, a speciality restaurant that specialises in Asian cuisine. We had eaten there two years ago and it was just as good this time. One of the nice things about Saga is everything on board is included in the price including the speciality restaurants. You’ve just got to get in quick to make a reservation. Entertainment was a choice of a Motown show in the theatre or an Abba show in the Britannia Lounge. We chose the latter. Mama mia!

The bathing beauty scrubs up well for Formal Night complete with Dastardly and Mutley tie. The sun sets on another glorious day.

Day Four: Belfast

With views of Samson and Goliath, we moored in Belfast not far from George Best Belfast City Airport which pleased the avgeek in me. We had booked a tour for the morning, Scenic Coasts and Glens. It certainly delivered on that with a nice drive along the Antrim coast, although ‘Glens’ should really have been ‘Glen’, singular. That glen was Glenariff and the reason it was chosen was it had a teashop which is important to your average Saga guest. You could, if you were feeling relatively vigorous, go for a walk down the glen to a waterfall which I did. It was very nice but the highlight of the place was the red squirrel that was going about its business oblivious to a bloke with an iPhone taking a hundred pictures of it from not too far away. The trip back was via a different route and thanks once again to the glorious sunshine, Northern Ireland was looking rather nice. Afternoon was spent sat in the sunshine whilst I watched the comings and goings from Belfast City Airport and mum and Jill enjoyed my commentary on them. It was the 80th anniversary of VE Day and the ship’s crew made an effort. There was a religious service conducted by the ship’s chaplain which mum, who isn’t a religious person but has genuine memories of the original VE Day, wanted to attend. I can’t say any of us were too impressed. The evening show in the theatre was a variety affair with a VE Day theme which where the ship’s company and visiting acts made a better job of it than the vicar. Many flags were waved.

Norn Iron. Samson and Goliath and Glenariff

VE Day 80 celebrations. Union flags provided.

Day Five: Holyhead

There was only one tour we were ever going to do on our stop in Wales. The Ffestiniog Railway is one of North Wales’ numerous narrow gauge railways and whenever the three of us are on a holiday we like to grab a bit of heritage railway action. It was an hour long bus ride to Porthmadog where the line commences its journey to Bleanau Ffestiniog in the hills. Alas, the lovely weather North Wales had been suffering for several weeks resulted in our train being diesel hauled rather than steam as the railway was keen not to be responsible for setting Wales alight from stray cinders. It wasn’t too much of a problem, the diesel loco was kind of cute anyway and the glorious scenery was the main thing. Indeed, it was a lovely run along a line that was built in the 19th century to transport slate from the mines at Bleanau to the port at Porthmadog. The journey was one way for us – the bus was awaiting us in Bleanau and it took a very scenic route through Snowdonia to get us back to the ship in time for a late lunch. The evening’s entertainment offering was something different for the ship’s resident cast of four singers and six dancers. They put on an Agatha Christie mystery. It was not a nice juicy murder to be solved by a Belgian detective, just a minor burglary at the seaside, but it was good fun and I think the performers enjoyed turning their hands to acting for a change. At least they said they did as they thanked us all for coming as we filed out. By then we were already at our next destination as it wasn’t too far away. We dropped anchor for the night off the Isle of Man, British and not British at the same time. A British Isle though, definitely, so it fitted the brief for the cruise.

Ffestiniog Railway, not steam hauled today.

Tryfan, Snowdonia, sunset over the Isle of Man and the ships singers and dances perform Agatha Christie.

Day Six: Douglas

Prior to the cruise we had decided that we were going to go independent in Douglas and declined the offer to buy an official excursion. The three of us had been to the Isle of Man in 2019 and felt we knew the place and could hack a few things by ourselves. Consequently, we took a tender to the town and then took a few minutes deciding precisely what those few things would be. We decided to hit the rails again and took a taxi to the start of the Isle of Man Electric Railway at the far end of Douglas promenade. This railway – more of a tramway than a railway – trundles up the Manx coast to Ramsey on rolling stock that dates back to the 1890s. We didn’t go all the way, stopping instead in Laxey. We could have taken another tram from there up Snaefell, the highest hill on the Island, but decided instead to go on a the Laxey Mine Steam Train. This was a former mine train, or at least a modern copy. It didn’t go far but it was well worth the three quid it cost each of us. After a somewhat more comfortable tram back to Douglas we took the Horse Tram along the promenade. This was only partially open the last time we were here and it was nice to go the full distance which unfortunately wasn’t quite close enough to the port to avoid the need for another taxi. Back on board we considered that this had been a successful day of independent travel. Some new guest entertainers joined us today, one of which was an American chap called Brad Sherwood who entertained us with his magic show in the evening. I still wish I could work out how they do it.

As well as electricity, we were hauled by steam power and original horsepower.

First Class on the Electric Railway, the ship from the Electric Railway and the Electric Railway from the ship.

Day Seven: Sea Day

Not another boring sea day I hear you ask? As it happens no it wasn’t. The captain had told us the previous day that we would not be taking the high seas route to Ullapool, complete with its Atlantic swells and increased risks of chunder, but we would do some scenic cruising amongst the islands of Scotland’s west coast. All we needed was a nice day and a place on deck that was sheltered from any wind we might encounter. Whilst there was a bit more cloud around than on previous days, it was remained nice enough for us to spend much of the day on deck with the Orca team. Orca team? What are they? It was a group of four people who accompany cruises to point out interesting wildlife which must be quite a nice gig for the guys who get them. Their presence added to what would have been a pleasant day’s cruising anyway. We had woken up passing the Mull of Kintyre and headed north past Islay and Jura. We would pass through Sound of Corryvrechan, also known as The Race, where the world’s third largest whirlpool awaits careless navigators. Thankfully our navigator wasn’t careless so we avoided being sucked down to a watery grave, and passed into the Firth of Lorn. The Sound of Mull followed before we entered less sheltered seas for the overnight transit to Ullapool. On the way we had seen maelstroms, mountains, castles, hills shaped like boobs, porpoises, two types of dolphin, a lost homing pigeon and an autogyro. After coming third in the quiz – a nice change from second – we avoided the entertainment that was on offer for some reason and had an early night. Passing through the Inner Hebrides at 12 knots is obviously tiring work.

Jura’s Paps in a bit more detail, approaching The Race, Corryvrechan Whirlpool.

Bad photo of a dolphin, Duart Castle and Glenforsa on Mull.

Day Eight: Ullapool

Ullapool. Small town set in big country.

For those who are unaware, Ullapool is in the far northwest of Scotland. It is a small town which would be of little significance were it not for the fact it hosts the ferry from the mainland to Stornoway on the Isle of Lewis. Its fame has increased in the past few years as it is a ‘major’ stop on the North Coast 500, a road trip around the top of Scotland beloved by drivers of motorhomes and less so by locals who get stuck behind the aforementioned motorhomes. It is situated in an estuary with a backdrop of hills and mountains so on a day when the sun was shining and the mercury topped out at 21C, it wasn’t going to be anything other than gorgeous. I had booked onto an afternoon tour labeled ‘strenuous’ in the official literature but mum and Jill had a free day. We took the tender into the town in the morning and discovered a boat trip for them to do in the afternoon. Consequently, off they went to discover the Summer Islands and its associated wildlife (porpoises mainly) whilst I headed off on my strenuous official trip. Strenuous is a relative term but bear in mind the average customer on the cruise was 79. It involved a bus journey to a lookout point, nothing remotely strenuous about that but then the bus took us to Corrishaloch Gorge. There was a bit of walking to do which whilst far from strenuous for a fine physical specimen like me, would certainly have been a challenge for half of those on the ship. It took us down the gorge to a suspension bridge and waterfall and was all very nice. We could then go back the way we came or take an alternative route which a handful of us did. I was five minutes late back at the bus, the others were twenty. I don’t think the guide will be offering that alternative again. Back on the ship we watched the sailaway from as the views were really rather lovely apart from the bit where we passed the headland and discovered the motorhome park. They’ve got to park them somewhere I suppose.

The non-Saga tour to the Summer Islands sets off.

Knockan Crag viewpoint and Corrishaloch Gorge and strenuous hike to the suspension bridge.

Sailaway. What’s round this headland? Oh, that’s where they hide them!

Day Nine: Kirkwall

The remaining standing stones of Steness.

The Orkney Islands lie off the north coast of Scotland across the Pentland Firth. For the first and only time on this cruise the weather let us down a bit. It was a bit misty at first and that mist developed into a low overcast for the rest of the day. As it didn’t rain and there was little wind it was, however, a cracking day for Orkney. Here we had booked two tours. The one in the morning was one of three free tours Saga offered on the cruise and consisted of a bus trip to a set of standing stones and back. Not much perhaps but as it was free it was pretty good value. Orkney has a lot of history and much of that goes back to neolithic times where standing stones were a bit of a thing for reasons we can only speculate about. We passed the impressively large Ring of Brodgar on the bus but stopped at the nearby Stones of Stenness, probably because it was nearer the car park for the less mobile guests. There’s only four stones left here, or three and a half to be precise, but it was nice to get up close and personal with them. On our return I had a brief wander round Kirkwall, taking the free shuttle bus the two miles into town before returning to the ship for trip number two. This took in Scapa Flow, the Churchill Barriers, the Italian Chapel a small Orcadian fishing village and a stop for tea and shortbread. The latter two stops were padding the tour out a bit but the first three had very interesting stories to tell. In particular the Italian Chapel which was built in 1944 by Italian prisoners of war that had been taken to Orkney to build the Churchill Barriers which guard the entrance to Scapa Flow, the stretch of water where the Royal Navy moored many of their ships between assignments in both World Wars. The Chapel was made from two Nissun Huts and anything else the prisoners could get their hands on, decorated by hand with paint traded from locals. It’s a work of art really. We departed Kirkwall in the evening and came second in the evening quiz again. The ship’s company put on a West End/Broadway show. There was a big audience for that one.

A Churchill Barrier, made by Italians. Scapa Flow Selfie. The Orkney flag looking suspiciously Norwegian.

Day Ten: Sea Day

Getting from the north of Scotland to Dover takes a while in a ship so there was no chance of any scenic cruising today unless you count gas platforms and wind turbines as scenic. The lack of stops on this final leg of the journey did mean I could get some washing done – there are two laundrettes on board for passengers to use – though I’d managed to get most of it done on Day Seven. Laundry might not add much fun to a holiday but it makes the getting home bit more bearable. That aside we spent much of the day doing very little as the North Sea passed by. We had a go at deck quoits, played a bit of table tennis and I even took another dip in the pool. In the evening we dined in The Club, another speciality restaurant that is basically a steakhouse. We hadn’t meant it to be our last supper so to speak but reservations can be hard to come by. We never managed to get a reservation in the third speciality restaurant which does seafood. Our final chance of glory in the evening quiz came to naught, we didn’t even come second for goodness sake, and a variety show in the theatre gave us a chance to say cheerio to the performers. With suitcases left in the corridor for collection it was lights out for one last time.

Serious deck quoit action, The Club fare and Latin Fever, the only fever on board that didn’t result in quarantine.

Day Eleven: Dover Disembarkation

Dover Cruise Ship Terminal with a bit of White Cliff behind.

The sharp eyed amongst you will notice that we ended the cruise at a different port to the one where we started. I don’t know why but it really doesn’t matter too much with Saga where a fleet of Mercedes vans are on hand to whisk all the passengers to where they need to go. Disembarkation was a straightforward process and within a few minutes we were heading northwards along with the same lady who had shared our car on the way down. The journey was slightly less straightforward due to a big hold up on the M25 resulting in us detouring through London, crossing beneath the Thames via the Blackwall Tunnel, but we arrived back at mum’s house at 15:00 which was precisely the time I had estimated before setting off. Thus ended my third Saga experience.

To conclude, this cruise was a great success. Yes, the weather gods were on our side but I can’t fault Saga for what they do for their target audience. The only question you need to ask is are you the target audience and there’s more to that question than just being of the required age. If the answer is yes then you get a ship that is big enough to be interesting but small enough to be personal, a nicely equipped cabin with a balcony, decent entertainment, excellent service throughout, all the drink you could ever need (other than Diet Coke) and some really excellent food. Add to that the transport to and from the port and included (sort of) insurance and it is an ideal package for those who want a holiday without the hassle. They are not cheap – this ten day cruise in a single occupancy cabin cost just shy of £5,000 with optional tours on top of that but my bill at the end of the cruise meant that Saga owed me money (due to the cancelled excursions in Guernsey) as I hadn’t spent an additional penny on board. Last year I sampled Cunard’s service on the Transatlantic crossing and found it good. In cruising terms, Saga was on a par with them, if not better. They just need to ditch the Pepsi for Coke although I suspect I was the only person on board who was bothered about that aspect of the cruise.

River Cruise

The Spirit of the Rhine. It’s long, narrow and low. It’s also hard to get a full photo of it.

It had to happen sometime. I’ve been retired for five and a half years now and I finally got round to taking that holiday favoured by retired folk, the river cruise. I’m surprised it took so long to be honest. It should, in fact, have happened two years ago. We were emerging from the covid pandemic when I caught it for the first time. Luckily for me it was something and nothing but for the people at Saga, the holiday company for those in the Autumn of their lives, it was a serious case of stay away from their boat. The holiday was cancelled four days before we were due to go. Having taken an ocean cruise with Saga last year, it was time to try again for the not so choppy waters of the Rhine this year. A cruise at the end of March was selected and we all managed to avoid catching transmissible diseases in the run up to the cruise, though by now we could have possibly boarded with ebola and no one would have been bothered. (I’m lying. If you catch ebola don’t go on a river cruise.) By ‘we’ I mean my sister Jill, mother and me. If you have read, or indeed choose to read my previous blog SAGA you will see how this threesome of travelling companions has come about and also my thoughts on Saga themselves. It’s a jolly witty read if I may say so myself! I may as well say so myself, nobody else will.

When it comes to river cruising, the choices are limited. There’s a finite number of navigable waterways in the world. ‘Normal’ cruising takes place on seas and oceans and there’s a ton of them to choose from and whilst cruise ships do tend to get concentrated in certain areas, the choice of itineraries is much greater than on rivers. In Europe you can go river cruising on the Danube, The Douro in Portugal, the waterways of the Netherlands and maybe somewhere in France at a push. The biggie, however, is the Rhine. Actually, the Danube is longer and a similarly important river cruise waterway but the Rhine gets my vote as the most important. Defining what is and isn’t the Rhine is tricky at either end of said waterway but the bit we are interested in runs from Lake Constance to the Hook of Holland and is measured in Rhine Kilometres, a unit of length that matches a normal kilometre except in one case which we will see later on. There’s 1032 of those but the first couple of hundred are not navigable. The rest, from Basel onwards, is fair game for river cruises and a surprisingly large number of commercial cargo vessels. The cruise we chose was called ‘Rhine in the Springtime’ and of the three or four departure dates available, we chose the first one of the year for the very sound reason that it was quite a bit cheaper than the others. ‘Cheap’ is a relative term. River cruises are not known to be at the budget end of the holidaying spectrum. What’s more, single occupancy of a cabin will cost you a hefty surcharge so a saving of a thousand pounds or so by taking a cruise so early it only just qualified for the ‘Springtime’ bit is not to be sniffed at.

As with the ocean cruise, Saga look after you. Included in the price is insurance and transfer to whatever port of exit you decide to use. For most folk on this cruise this was St Pancras Station where the Eurostar train would whisk them off to Brussels where a bus would pick them up and take them to the boat which was moored in Dusseldorf. We, however, took the flying option. This required us to be at Heathrow Airport for a 12:55 departure so we asked Saga’s UK travel service to take us down the day before. We booked an airport Premier Inn for the night allowing us a more leisurely short ride to the airport the following morning. We spoke to others who had been picked up at three in the morning for the flight or the train so felt the extra expense of the hotel for the night was more than worth it. The flight went directly to Dusseldorf from where we were met and sent on a short bus ride to the boat. We were welcomed on board and shown to our cabins.

Our home for the next eight nights was The Spirit of the Rhine. This was one of two river cruising boats built specifically for Saga back in 2020/1 (bad timing there), the other being The Spirit of the Danube. They promised a big upgrade in the standard of vessel Saga had been using up to then and both my mum and sister, who had been on the older boats, stated that Spirit of the Rhine delivered that promise. As for me, I had nothing to compare it with but find it hard to believe the Spirit of the Rhine could be bettered. It can carry up to 182 passengers – there were approximately 160 on our cruise – with a crew of around 40. Typical of Rhine cruisers, it is 135 metres long by 11.4 meters wide. There are 91 cabins over three decks. 20 are on the Lower Deck. Being near the water line, these have thin, fixed windows and are 14 sq metres. Nicely appointed but a little tight. On the Middle and Upper Decks the rooms are 17 sq metres and have large French balconies. A French balcony is basically a French door with a fence across it to stop you from falling into the Rhine. Other river cruiser boats manage to squeeze an actual balcony in their cabins but they are tiny and I think the French balcony is better by having that space behind the doors. Whatever, these cabins are a fair bit more expensive than the Lower Deck ones, with the Upper Deck costing slightly more than the Middle Deck, but I think they are worth the extra expense. The Lower Deck cabins might feel a bit claustrophobic after a while. I was on the Middle Deck, my mum and sister were on the Upper Deck. We were each in a designated single cabins but from what I could see they were exactly the same as the other cabins on the Middle and Upper Decks, just with one less chocolate on the bed in the evening. There is a reception amidships with the Lorelei Lounge ahead and the main restaurant on the deck below. There is a small, speciality restaurant at the stern on the Upper Deck and they’ve squeezed a small gym – two treadmills and two exercise bikes – on the lower deck. On top there is the sun deck which extends almost the full length of the boat, interrupted only by the wheelhouse which is mounted on hydraulic jacks so it can be lowered to fit under the lowest of bridges. There’s plenty of chairs and loungers and also a small splash pool if you fancy watching the German countryside going by whilst sat in warm water. That’s about it for the public areas. It might not sound a lot but there’s plenty of space for all on board. It’s not a cruise ship though, places to go are limited and theres no casino, beauty salons, bars other than the main one or theatre like on a Saga ship and certainly no surfing simulators, water slides and go-kart tracks like on the mega cruise ships. There’s a large chess board on the sun deck though…

Room 209, where the magic happens. On a Saga holiday, that means a decent night’s sleep.

We didn’t move from our mooring until the following morning. Such is the way with some itineraries. It was perhaps just as well as some of the passengers arriving by train had picked up a delay and didn’t get in until late that evening. The rest of us got to sample the catering for the first time. Dinner was served at 7pm. You could have gone in a bit later but with most of the passengers being Brits we all tended to file in at that time in an orderly fashion. There were tables of six and four and it was a case of taking whatever available table you fancied. Sometimes we’d share a table of six, others we got a table of four to ourselves. The menu was four courses, starter (choice of two), soup (two), main (three) and dessert (two, plus a cheese option). The food was almost without exception excellent. There was always some simple items available in addition to the mains – grilled chicken, a small steak or salmon – for those with a more delicate palate. Or, indeed, if you just fancied something relatively plain for a change. Wine, beer and soft drinks were available, all served by the very attentive staff. Portion sizes were just right, not too big, not too small. As an alternative to the main restaurant, the small Rhinefells restaurant at the rear of the ship could be booked for evening dinner. We did this on the second night. It was nice but the food was not really any different to the main restaurant. It was a more intimate atmosphere and you could observe the chefs preparing your dinner but the menu appeared to stay the same throughout the cruise so we felt there was no need to try and book it for another night. All the food on board was included in the price of course. Breakfast was a buffet with a large array of items to choose from. An egg chef prepared fried eggs and omelettes to order otherwise you just got your own stuff and tucked in. We Brits love a buffet breakfast so no one was complaining though we thought the sausages weren’t particularly great. Lunch was also a buffet with some extra items delivered by the waiting staff directly from the kitchen on request. Once again it was good stuff and allowed you to have as big or as small a lunch as you wanted. A lighter version was served in the Rhinefells restaurant. In the afternoon sandwiches and cakes were available in the Lorelei Lounge and on one afternoon afternoon tea was served in there. Drinks were also included, both with meals and in the Lorelei Lounge all day. The selection of included drinks was more limited than on a sea cruise but still perfectly adequate and we didn’t spend an extra penny whilst on board, though there were plenty premium brands available at extra cost.

Starter. It’s a bread stick before you ask.

The house beer. Aptly German and very nice.

Life on board the boat tended to take place in the Lorelei Lounge. Some time was spent on the sun deck, especially for the scenic parts of the cruise, but a March date was never going to see a battle for the sun beds. The lounge was a pleasant space where, as already mentioned, drinks were available from 9am to midnight and nibbles were served in the afternoon. It was the place where the cruise director would give us the appropriate information for our ports of call, the Captain introduced his staff and Michael, the resident entertainer, would, well, entertain us. He’d run quizzes, compare a few games, play a bit of piano lounge music, encourage us to hit the dance floor, tell the odd joke and also sing. He did a pretty good job at keeping most of the passengers entertained and didn’t massacre the songs from the musicals which was good. If you are used to ocean cruising, you might think the entertainment was a bit on the sparse side but for the size of ship you couldn’t really expect anything else. On a couple of evenings visiting musicians serenaded us. One was a trio from the Moselle region who performed typical German drinking songs which, like the drink, went down rather well. The other was a couple of chaps from Alsace who were supposed to perform some folk music from that region but we figured they were just giving us a few light tunes which went on a bit too long. Whatever, there was always something in the evening to help pass the time.

Resident entertainer Michael. He’s from Yorkshire you know.

River cruises are, of course, much more than killing time on the boat. Our itinerary had us visiting seven different places though we didn’t see much of Dusseldorf where we boarded. On the itinerary was Cologne, Koblenz, Rudesheim and Speyer where we then turned about and headed north, visiting Bingen and Nijmegen before we arrived in Amsterdam where we spent a full 24 hours before the cruise ended and we came home. ‘Scenic’ cruising only happened on a couple of afternoons. Between Koblenz and Rudesheim lies the Middle Rhine Gorge, all romantic castles, near vertical vineyards and picture postcard towns. Plus, with tracks on either bank, quite a lot of trains. Having cruised this section, passing the Lorelei (or Loreley) Rock on the way south, we cruised it again in the other direction which was not a bad thing. We were lucky with the weather both times. Much of the other time we were moving was in the dark and the for bits that did take place during the day, the scenery tended to be interesting rather than pretty. The Rhine has attracted a lot of industry over the years and it there’s no way of avoiding it. Passing the Bayer Pharmaceutical plant in Leverkusen isn’t going to be high on anyone’s list of ‘must see’ sights but at least we can say we’ve seen the birthplace of Asprin. The river is marked on both banks every 100m. The Kilometres are shown as a number, zero is somewhere in Switzerland, 1032 next to the North Sea. A ‘+’ sign is placed at the half KM with poles placed every 100m. The 529 and 530km indicators are, however, only 580m apart due to a surveyor’s cock up. I got as much pleasure out of seeing that anomaly as I did from seeing the Loreley rock.

KM 530, just 80m from the ‘+’ which indicates km 529.5

The stops were all interesting with the exception of one. Sorry about that Bingen. Excursions were available at all locations but the uptake wasn’t great and the ones at Cologne and Bingen were cancelled. Some excursions were included in the price and we Brits weren’t going to miss out on them. A walking tour of Speyer and a coach trip from Nijmegen to Arnhem and ‘A Bridge Too Far’ were the first two. In Amsterdam, where we were mored a couple of miles out of the centre, we were bused into the city and took a canal cruise. In the afternoon a shuttle bus was organised for those who fancied an independent wander round the city. Those leaving by Eurostar got a bonus tour of a tulip farm on the day of departure but not those who flew. The extra paid for excursions were walking tours at Koblenz, the Mechanical Music Museum plus wine tasting at Rudesheim and the Technik Museum at Speyer. We didn’t join any of those. Mum and Jill had done the Mechanical Music Museum before and the Technik Museum was just a short way from the boat so I went myself, paid at the gate and saved twenty quid. Walking tours are a big thing on river cruises and whilst Jill and I did the included one in Speyer, it was better discovering the locations at your own pace. Saga boats even have little gizmos you can use to have a self-guided walk around most ports of call. We tried this in Bingen without much success and elsewhere we just did our own thing. In Cologne we visited the famous cathedral. In Koblenz we took the cable car over the confluence of the Rhine and the Moselle. In Rudesheim we took another cable car and mum and Jill sampled Rudesheimer coffee. I don’t like coffee but I’m sure it was delicious. In Bingen I did manage to discover an interesting crane. Sorry again Bingen. There’s plenty to see wandering round Amsterdam as I’m sure you know. Not that I saw those bits, I went on a tram ride instead.

Old wooden crane, still works apparently…

I can’t remember the story but I think there’s a bit of SPQR going on here.

So, river cruises, yes or no? For me the jury is still out. I think I need to take another to form an honest opinion. I couldn’t really fault Saga. Whilst I have nothing to compare it with, the boat was excellent, the staff were great, food and drink were fantastic and I fail to see how all that could be bettered. Yes, it was the first cruise of the season so there was the odd teething problem, the onboard wifi wasn’t great and a few more excursions suitable for the less mobile passengers would have been good but these are straws I’m clutching at. So why the indecision? I’m just not sure river cruising is really me. Certainly if my mum wants to take her kids on holiday again we will probably plump for an ocean cruise as there are more choices, both in terms of itineraries and what to do on and off the ship. Having said that, the Danube looks an interesting river….

SAGA

Spirit of Discovery. It’s not easy getting a decent shot to be honest.

Back in the dark ages that was forty-odd years ago, I was discussing various aspects of holidaying with some of my co-students at the College of Air Traffic Control where we were all setting out on long and (mostly) successful careers. The college was in Bournemouth which was, and still is a seaside holiday resort that attracted a reasonable cross section of British society. This included the more mature holidaymaker who were catered for by a number of specialist tour operators, the most famous of which is Saga. Formed in 1951, Saga runs tours, river and ocean cruises, all inclusive package deals and extras such as travel insurance for Britain’s over 50s. Back in that common room at the College of ATC we were mostly in our early 20s so you felt you had to be very old indeed to experience a Saga tour and ‘very old’ people on holiday were generally perceived to be a bit, well, grumpy. As such we decided that the name ‘Saga’ was an acronym for ‘Stupid Arrogant Geriatric Arseholes’. Oh how we laughed. Fast forward forty years. I’m now 61 years old, well beyond the minimum age you have to be to book a Saga holiday and have just returned from my first Stupid Arrogant Geriatric Arseholes holiday. Yes indeed, my desired reputation for being a hard nosed traveller is about to take a battering as I plump for the easy option of paying a company a lot of money and letting them deal with everything. My inner 20 year old was shaking his head in despair.

How did it come to this? It should have been a year earlier as it happens. For the past few years my sister Jill and I have taken our mum away for a few days. Jill has in fact gone further and taken mum away herself. Those trips have been with Saga on both river and sea cruises. The fact that Saga look after the oldies was a big selling point for them, as was the travel cheap insurance that was an optional-but-you’d-be-mad-not-to-take-it extra. Mum is, in her own words, getting on a bit and has a number of medical issues that make normal travel insurance prohibitively expensive. Last year I decided to lose my Saga virginity by joining mum and Jill on a Rhine river cruise. Sadly, ten days before we were due to travel I came down with a dose of the Covid and as soon as Saga found out, they immediately refunded our money and strictly forbade us from setting foot within a hundred miles of their boat. I may be exaggerating a bit but it was quite obvious they were shit-scared of an outbreak on a boat full of elderly people with assorted levels of morbidity. My symptoms were mild, I’d have been over it by the time we were due to board but we weren’t welcome any more so that was that. We ended up spending a few days in Stratford-upon-Avon which was very nice, if a little lacking in German castles. A few months later we were looking to book this year’s trip. We went back to Saga and discovered a five night cruise on one of their two new ’boutique’ cruise ships, the Spirit of Discovery. It wasn’t the most exciting of itineraries as we would barely leave the English Channel but the cruise itself is the holiday, the ports of call are just a bonus. We booked it.

Another advantage of booking a Saga cruise is that they all go from the UK. That’s a bonus to most people but not necessarily an avgeek like me who rather enjoys a trip on a plane. Not having the hassle of airports is a good thing for many people, especially those who are of an age to take a Saga holiday. Not only that, Saga send someone to pick you up and drive you to the port. This service is free for anyone within 250 miles (300 miles from next year) of the port of departure. For this cruise it was Portsmouth which meant I, or anyone else residing in Scotland didn’t qualify for the free chauffeur service although Saga do supposedly offer cheap transfer services to those living outside the zone. As it happens, my mum’s house is 247 miles from Portsmouth so we booked the pick up from there. The driver duly arrived at the appointed time in a rather nice Mercedes people mover. There was one other passenger already in the vehicle and we set off to Portsmouth a four and a half hour drive away. For some reason I hadn’t really been looking forward to this but it was fine, very pleasant in fact. At the port the baggage, including mum’s wheelchair, was taken directly from the car before we were dropped off at the check-in. We had pre-booked assistance but needn’t have bothered as there was very little walking for mum to do. A bus took us from the check-in building to the gangplank where we boarded and were shown to our rooms. We’d each got a Superior Single cabin on the port aft of Deck 12. Look at me with the nautical terminology. I have been on a few cruises before. On none of those cruises have I stayed in a cabin as good as this one. All cabins on the Spirit of Discovery and its sister ship Spirit of Adventure have a balcony. That was a first for me and there’s no going back to inside cabins or even outside cabins with a non-opening porthole as I’d experienced a few years ago. Despite being a single cabin, it had a bed plenty big enough for two should any of the old solo travellers score on the cruise (stop being ageist and disapproving). There was plenty of living space and a small but well thought out bathroom, good storage and all the other little bits and pieces that you’d get in a good quality hotel room. Our cabin steward Jennifer introduced herself and promised not to fold the towels into animal shapes like you get with other cruise lines. Actually she didn’t promise, she just didn’t do it as presumably the Saga clientele is generally too old to be impressed by a towel folded into the shape of an elephant being left on the bed. I must be getting old too as wasn’t disappointed. I thought the room/cabin/stateroom, call it what you will, was fantastic.

A word about the crew. All the cabin stewards, waiting staff, bartenders and just about every other job that had day to day contact with the passengers, were Filipino. For some reason all cruise lines, not just Saga, recruit from the Philippines and have no difficulty in filling the available vacancies. Some people can struggle with this: wealthy westerners being served by people from relatively poor countries. However, the Filipinos seem happy in their work and genuinely friendly towards the passengers. Yes, they could just be acting and secretly despise us but I very much doubt it. As mentioned, there is no shortage of people applying for all the various posts which suggests it is seen as a good employment option. Guilt avoided, let’s look at the ship they call home for much of the year. The Spirit of Discovery was built in 2019, the first of a pair of new ‘small’ cruise ships built exclusively for Saga, Spirit of Adventure being the other which took to the seas the following year just in time for the pandemic. I say ‘small’ but that is a relative term. Gross tonnage, which is actually a measure of internal volume rather than weight, is 58,250. By contrast, the world’s largest cruise ship, Wonder of the Seas, has a gross tonnage of 236,857 so Discovery is a tiddler by comparison. The difference is it caters for 987 passengers as opposed to Wonder’s nearly 7000. Wonder is indeed massive but do the maths and you can see they need to fit seven times as many passenger in four times the volume. Discovery has a higher crew to passenger ratio too, more than one to two as opposed to one to three in the big ship. The big cruise lines are all going down the road of huge ships but there is still a market for smaller, more intimate vessels and as Saga’s clientele is hardly likely to need the water slides, climbing walls and go kart tracks on the mega liners, it seemed a wise choice to commission two ships at the smaller end of the size range.

What do they manage to squeeze into their 58,250 tonnes? 554 cabins for a start. Around a quarter of those are for single occupancy which is a far higher ratio than other cruise lines which once again reflects the elderly clientele. There are five dining rooms: The Main Dining Room, the slightly less formal Grill and three speciality restaurants. The Club by Jools is a steakhouse under the patronage of Jools Holland, East to West is Asian cuisine and Coast to Coast which specialises in seafood. There was no supplement to use the speciality restaurants though for our short cruise they limited passengers to just one visit to one of them. We somehow managed to blag our way into two though, the only one we missed was Coast to Coast, much to mum’s disappointment as she rather fancied the lobster. Whilst you needed a reservation in the speciality restaurants, it was open dining in the others so no set sittings to worry about. The longest we had to wait was about two minutes. There are four different bars including the large Britannia Lounge at the pointy end of the ship (see, I told you I knew all the nautical terms). A lot of the entertainment takes place there including the daily quiz which we so nearly won one evening, losing out on a tie break. We would have won it had we not ‘checked’ an answer which only goes to show that bending the rules doesn’t always pay. The Club by Jools aptly becomes a piano bar after dinner is over and occasionally the pianist is Jools himself. Not on our cruise though, we had the equally impressive Zoltan to tickle the ivories. The Living Room is near the hub of the ship where you could sip a pina colada to the sounds of a classical four piece or some light jazz by a three piece who were forever telling us that they loved jazz. We didn’t frequent the South Cape Bar which was the fourth drinking establishment on the ship. The Playhouse Theatre could seat 444 people and held shows every evening either by the ship’s resident entertainment crew or visiting acts. Other things took place there such as lectures in the afternoon and it also served as the rendezvous point for the shore excursions. Up on deck there were more than enough sun loungers, something not all cruise lines can claim, a swimming pool filled with warm, fresh water and a couple of spa pools which were positively steaming. There is a bar there too with waiters bringing drinks directly to your sun lounger so no need to do the long walk of a few yards to get it yourself. There’s a few games you can play like table tennis, darts and the cruise line favourite, quoits, and if you are feeling fit, four times round the promenade deck is a mile. To complete the ship tour, there’s a couple of shops near the reception, a library for those who fancy some peace and quiet, a gym, a hairdressers and a spa. The hairdresser and the spa require additional payment but apart from some of the more expensive drinks, everything else on board is free, including the WiFi. Or, to be more precise, included in the price. Saga cruises aren’t the cheapest but you do get a lot for your money. We bought a bottle of Champagne to celebrate a special occasion and that was the only thing that we were charged for on disembarkation and that was only £30 which seemed more of a supermarket price than what you might find in a bar or restaurant.

To summarise, it is a very nice ship, tastefully kitted out, with enough of what you might want on a cruise and not a lot of what you don’t. It is perfect for the 60+ age bracket and probably suits the 50+ cruisers too although to be honest, I didn’t see that many passengers who looked to be in their fifties. In fact at 61 I felt rather youthful. The cruise itself is a bit of a backstory to this blog but it is worth mentioning what happened to give an idea of what to expect on any Saga cruise itinerary. Sailaway from Portsmouth was not accompanied by much fanfare which I found a bit odd but it was very pleasant watching it from the balcony of mum’s room. Portsmouth isn’t an overly scenic place but there was a lot of interesting stuff to see. Day two was a sea day. We were lucky as the weather was particularly kind so spent much of the day on deck. There were plenty of organised activities to keep folk occupied if sitting around isn’t your thing but lots did take advantage of the sunshine. I even had a dip in the pool. That evening was Formal Night. Formal dress was required throughout the ship with the exception of The Grill where the chaps could get away without wearing a tie. We had booked The Club for that evening so I had to dig out my suit and blow the moths off. I may have grumbled about it once or twice but the steaks were fantastic. In the theatre that evening were a Queen tribute band which led to the comedy moment of the cruise: a lot of old folk DJs and cocktail dresses getting on down to Don’t Stop Me Now, especially the “I’m a sex machine ready to reload” bit. Don’t knock it though, the band were excellent and ties or no ties, it was a great evening. Day Three saw us dock in Brest. Another good thing about a Saga cruise is that some of the shore excursions are included. In Brest this was a trip to the Breton village of Locronan. It’s a nice place, even when it is full of Saga cruise ship passengers. That evening’s entertainment was a show put together by the ship’s entertainment company. There was some loose storyline which served as an excuse to perform song and dance and a bit of acrobatics.

Day Four was spent in Falmouth. The weather had taken a turn for the worse which was a shame. We had decided to avoid the included excursion and pay for a different one which was a cruise up the Helford River in one of the tourist boats that ply their trade in Falmouth Harbour. However, the weather put paid to that idea and we headed off up the River Fal estuary instead. It was, well, a bit rubbish. It would have probably been ok if the weather had been better but a scenic cruise where you can’t see much is never likely to be the best. After dinner in The Grill, we nearly won the quiz as mentioned above, and then saw a magician do magic things in the theatre. He was pretty good at it too but I always try and work out how they do it and it frustrates me when I can’t. Day Five saw us drop anchor in Plymouth Harbour. This is always interesting as it requires the use of a tender to get the passengers to shore. That tender is in fact one of the lifeboats and it is quite a fun journey. We took another optional extra excursion in Plymouth. This was to Buckfast Abbey, three quarters of an hour or so away by bus. It was an interesting place. The abbey is less than 100 years old but made in the gothic style of many centuries earlier. However, the most interesting thing about it is that the monks produce their tonic wine, so beloved of the young scallywags of Scotland. I bought a bottle and took it home. It was a bit like taking coals to Newcastle. There’s something, however, about buying Bucky at the place where it is produced rather than the Spar just round the corner. That evening we got ourselves into the East to West restaurant despite us using up our speciality restaurant allocation of one a couple of days earlier. The food was amongst the finest Asian food I have ever tasted. It was another Queen night at the theatre with the tribute band, who go by the name of Royal Rhapsody, giving us another rousing night of classic Queen stuff. There were fewer people there this time and not a dinner jacket in sight but I have to give a big thumbs up to the cruise director for booking them. The band members were quite young and I do wonder what they made of their not young audience. Whatever, they put on a show and those present seemed to love it. Day Six of our five day cruise saw us dock in Portsmouth early. One final breakfast and we were off the ship by half past eight. Our bags had been collected overnight and were there for us at the quayside. Another bloke in a different Mercedes van was there to whisk us back to Yorkshire. It was Coronation Day and we got back in time to turn the telly on and. see the King and Queen on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

What then of Saga cruises? I couldn’t really fault them. You are looked after from stepping out of your front door to stepping back inside it again how ever many days later. The ship is really classy. It looks good outside and in. In terms of size it was pretty much ideal. Not huge and intimidating but not small and too exclusive either. The cabins are great and you’ll get a balcony even in the cheapest one. The food was top notch in all locations with good portion sizes, not always a given with other cruise lines. If I was being really picky I would say the food could have been a bit hotter but you couldn’t fault it for quality and flavour. There were enough activities and entertainment on offer to fill your time on board and it was easy to avoid it if you just fancied a bit of peace and quiet. Yes, it’s full of old people and it the bathing beauties by the pool may be a bit on the wrinkly side but so what? I’m no spring chicken either. Would I do it again? Most certainly. Here’s the big question though, is Saga just for Stupid, Arrogant, Geriatric Arseholes? If I ever get to use a time machine I’m going back to that common room in Bournemouth and informing young me and my co-students that no it isn’t and to stop being a bunch of young wanks.