Fjords

Until recent events put the mockers on it, going on a cruise was seen by some as the ultimate holiday experience. Unlimited quantities of good food, plenty drink, sunshine, entertainment, interesting destinations and the chance to pretend you are doing something quite posh for a couple of weeks. What is there not to like? Apart from the smallish cabins, the seething mass of humanity contained within a limited space, mal de mare, views of container ports and of course from now on the thought of imminent death from Covid-19. That’s the thing about cruises, they are a bit of a Marmite holiday. You either love ’em or you hate ’em. I’m probably a bit odd in that I take the view that I’ve liked all four that I’ve taken but am in no great hurry to book another. I’m a bit like that about Marmite too as it happens. Two of the cruises I’ve been on have been round the eastern Mediterranean whilst the other two have concentrated on more northerly latitudes. One was from Vancouver which sailed up the Alaska Inside Passage. The other, which was the first cruise I ever did and I will be reviewing in this blog, was a two-week trip from Southampton that followed the Norwegian coast up to Europe’s most northerly point, North Cape. These two cruises are not for the sunseeker. No, these are sightseeing cruises and if I were to go on a cruise in the future, are the sort of sailings I would be looking for.

Back in 2000, Elaine’s mum was wanting to take her children and their families on holiday. I’m not quite sure the reason we chose a Norwegian cruise for this trip but plans were made and a holiday was booked. So it was that towards the end of July nine of us congregated at Southampton’s QE2 Terminal to board the good ship Sundream. Sundream was operated by Sun Cruises, part of the Airtours travel group. If this blog tempts you to try out cruising, you will not be able to experience the delights of the Sundream or even Sun Cruises. Airtours got out of the cruise business in 2004 whilst the Sundream passed through several owners before being reduced to scrap in 2014. Built for Royal Caribbean in 1970, and having been acquired by Sun Cruises in 1996, by the millennium she was showing her age. Compared to the mega-cruise ships of today she was positively archaic. She wasn’t very big either, just 1000 passengers and 500 crew. The largest ships today carry six times that number of folk. There are small ships today but they tend to be the preserve of more exclusive cruise lines. Sun Cruises was certainly not exclusive, catering as it did for the ‘value’ end of the cruising spectrum. Facilities on board were certainly a bit limited compared with other ships. Our accommodation was an internal family cabin on one of the lower decks and a bit of a squeeze for the four of us. I might not be painting a rosy picture of the Sundream here but we grew rather fond of the vessel. Unlike the floating office blocks of today, Sundream looked like a ship, well proportioned with a distinct pointed end and an equally obvious blunt end. Yes, the engines caused it to vibrate and it wasn’t immune to rolling in the Atlantic swell (more of which later) but as the first cruise ship we had ever been on we were happy.

Of course, the ship is only part of the cruise experience. Of the 500 staff on board, not all are concerned with making it go and steering it and stuff. The rest are there purely to make your time on board a fun and happy one. Feeding the 1000 passengers is perhaps the most important thing and even on a ‘value’ cruise like this there was an endless supply of the stuff. Drink too was important with several bars complimenting the table service. From what I remember drinks were not included in the price and paid for with an onboard charge card, the bill of which you had to settle at the end of the cruise before they’d let you off. Entertainment was provided throughout the day including a show in the ship’s theatre every evening. The ship’s own cast were complimented by visiting acts, one of whom was, I kid you not, The Krankies. Fandabedozee. Poolside games, kids clubs, a small casino, an onboard cinema, dance classes, bingo and occasional talks by experts in a variety of subjects were all part and parcel of the cruising experience. All of which sounds, well, a bit Butlins and in a way it was but somehow being on the ocean wave made it just a bit different. Much of the time there was no need for onboard activities. The reason you go on a Norwegian cruise is to admire the scenery. It was absolutely stunning. No amount of bingo or talks on the shopping possibilities of Bergen can ever be as good as observing the lovely crinkly edges of Norway (some of you will get the Slartibartfast reference, for the others I apologise). Of course not every day is spent weaving your way up narrow fjords. The ship stopped at several ports on its journey north and others on the way back down. There were numerous excursions that could be taken, at extra cost of course, at each of the ports of call. They are worth taking too as staying on board whilst the ship is in port is not the most exciting thing to do unless you really, really like the bingo.

So, what was the itinerary? The boarding process was a bit of a lengthy one but eventually you were sent along to the gangplank where the photographer was waiting. I’m not sure if it is the same now in this age of cameraphones but back then the ship’s photographer was the busiest person on board. You were snapped getting on at every port, getting off at every port, at any event on board, when going for dinner in your glad rags or even when you were simply sat minding your own business. Every evening the day’s photos were pinned up on a board for you to browse and, if required, buy. On boarding the ship a member of staff showed you to your cabin. Suitcases were delivered to your cabin a bit later. As mentioned, our cabin was small but it did manage to squeeze in an en-suite. As it was only a place to sleep and wash, the cabin’s lack of space wasn’t really a problem though I think I’d pay a bit of a premium to have something more spacious nowadays. Another thing I’d pay extra for is to have an outside cabin. A window or, better still, a balcony is definitely worth the extra cost if you have to spend any time at all in the cabin as happened to us on a subsequent cruise when Elaine was quarantined for a day with a tummy bug. Your cabin is tended to by one of an army of cabin attendants who are particularly adept at folding your towels into interesting shapes. Setting sail was something of an occasion with a band playing onshore and people on deck waving to the poor land lubbers left behind. One of the first things of a cruise is the lifeboat drill. On the signal, everyone has to retrieve their lifejacket from their cabin and head to their muster station on deck. A member of staff does the appropriate headcount and everyone is good to go should the ship hit any rogue icebergs. We had a day to get used to the cruising life as Sundream chugged at a sedate 17kts up the North Sea to its first destination. This was a good time to iron out those awkward moments you have when you sample something new. Take dinner for example. The main dining room ran two sittings. The nine of us were allocated to a table of ten. The tenth seat was taken by a solo traveller, an old chap who had last been up to the north of Norway on a merchant navy convoy at the end of WW2. I’m sure he was delighted to be sharing a table with four kids. Ferdinand and Marvin, our waiters, attended to our dining needs throughout the entire cruise. Like many other members of the ship’s crew, these two fine chaps from the Phillipines and were not averse to bursting in to song whilst we enjoyed our five course dinners. You’ll Never Walk Alone was a particular favourite I seem to remember. The wine waiter was Julia from Estonia. Both Martin (Elaine’s brother) and I were highly impressed with, erm, her knowledge of grapes. She didn’t sing. She didn’t have to. People tended to dress up for dinner in the main lounge. On some nights it was supposedly compulsory though they didn’t turn you away if you ‘forgot’ your tie.

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Having departed on a Saturday afternoon, it took until Monday morning to reach Norway where we cruised around Herdangerfjord. On Tuesday morning we arrived at our first stop, Alesund. Here a city tour was undertaken which included a visit to a house with a lawn on the roof just to get us into the Scandinavian way of things. We’d have probably been just as well walking round the town and saving a few quid but we were new to this game. Another two days cruising followed. This was no hardship due to the glorious view of fjords, glaciers and the Lofoten Islands, crossing the Arctic Circle on the way. On the Friday we reached Tromso, the northerly most city in Norway. The excursion we took here was to visit a Husky kennel. Whilst there were plenty of nice puppies to see, the dogs did rather pong a bit which made you wonder about the desirability of heading off on an arctic expedition being hauled by a pack of them. On the Saturday we reached Honningsvag. Here, along with virtually the entire ship’s compliment, we piled on to shuttle buses which whisked us to North Cape, described as the most northern point of Europe. In reality it isn’t – the island of Svalbard is way more north than North Cape, but it is the most northerly point that is reasonably accessible. Here, 1000ft high cliffs give way to the Barents sea to the east and Atlantic Ocean to the west. There’s a visitor’s centre and a post office for that all important Nordkapp franking on your postcards. It is definitely worth going to if only to say ‘I was there’. It is also prime Midnight Sun territory but we were there just a little late in the year. That evening the ship headed north to try and catch it but at the midnight hour cloud on the horizon thwarted any chance of seeing the sun.

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The trip back south was paused on the Sunday when we docked in Hammerfest. This lays claim to the the world’s most northern town, another debatable point, but it was a pleasant enough place to wander round as long as you were careful to avoid the copious quantities of reindeer excrement on the pavement. The next day was full steam ahead as we left the shelter of the costal islands on the long journey back to southern Norway. This was not without its problems. The Atlantic swell induced sea sickness in half the passengers including several members of our group. We were confined to the cabin for much of the day but on the plus side we had a perfect excuse to avoid The Krankies’ second show of the cruise. I was ok until I saw the water sloshing about in the pool. For some reason that turned my stomach and whilst I suffered no further ill effects I was in no mood to party, with or without the Krankies. By the Tuesday we had reached Trondheim. I don’t remember doing much there, we certainly didn’t take a tour. We probably just wandered round the shops or maybe had a Burger King just to make a change from the ship’s food. Wednesday saw us cruise up Geiranger Fjord. This was a highlight of the cruise. This 10 mile long by 1 mile wide fjord is magnificent and precisely the sort of thing we had wanted to see when we booked this cruise. At Geiranger village we went on a walking tour up a rather steep hiking trail which ultimately saw us walking behind a waterfall. The following day was spent in Bergen, Norway’s second city. There I took a floatplane sightseeing trip whilst everyone else wandered round the town. There’s an impressive funicular railway up Mount Floyen which is worth taking a ride on with some good views from the top. And so ended Norway. Friday was spent cruising back down the North Sea with end of cruise parties and all sorts of other events taking place. On Saturday morning we docked in Southampton and that was that.

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The cruise definitely got a thumbs up from us. So much so that a few years later we all went again a few years later, this time to Alaska. It was a more modern ship which carried twice the number of passengers and belonged to NCL, a mid-range cruise company. Slightly bigger cabins and more onboard facilities were nice but the cruise itself wasn’t any better than that we had experienced with Sun Cruises. Our other cruising holidays have been in the Mediterranean with Royal Caribbean and Thomson. The former sounds as though it should be a grand affair but in reality it is a similar level of cruising as NCL. It now operates some of the meg-ships that dwarf the likes of the Sundream. The Thomson Cruises are, like the now defunct Sun Cruises, specifically aimed at the British market. As I said earlier, I’m in no hurry to go again though I wouldn’t say no either. It would have to be somewhere scenic or interesting though. The two great cruising destinations of the Mediterranean or the Caribbean hold little appeal. Central America and the Panama Canal perhaps? That’s if any cruise lines survive 2020 of course.